ODE TO AN UPSIDE-DOWN BADGE
from Peter & Jacqui Cowman
I guess I should have known. Graham Johnson phoned us to say that he was planning a bikers? weekend trip to Barrydale and invited us to join him. Mm, sounds like fun, I thought and without further ado we readily agreed. Early on Saturday morning, well early for me anyway, we set off from Somerset West, meeting up with Graham and the other riders in Wellington at 8:15am. On being introduced to the other riders I was surprised to be the only woman with 7 men, good odds I thought. It was here that we learnt that Graham?s friend Rusty, to whom he had recently sold a Vstrom, had gone straight through an intersection on the way and fallen off. (The first upside-downer). The planned route was discussed, with our first stop being a breakfast in Ceres.
It didn?t take long for the second mishap to occur. Geoff, a 50-something Brit on a new BMW 650GS, who hadn?t ridden for 20 years, went straight ahead into a ditch instead of negotiating the first sharp left-hander at the start of Bains Kloof. Being right behind him Peter stopped and went to his aid. We managed to get him back on the road with much embarrassment on his part and a broken mirror. (The second upside-downer) Sadly Peter had smelt something burning while dragging the bike up and noticed that his jacket had melted against the BMW?s exhaust.
After breakfast we headed off on the R46 towards Touws River. 10 kms out of Ceres we turned right and took a very pleasant side trip over the Swaarmoed Pass, passed the cherry orchards, before rejoining the R46. The last few kms were on dirt but we managed quite well. A short run down the N1 took us to the turn-off for Montagu and a very pleasant ride through the Koo valley. Our esteemed leader, being way ahead of most of the pack, neglected to wait at a junction in Montagu, so while some of us followed him to the petrol station, those unfamiliar with the place managed to get themselves lost. Thank goodness for cell phones.
After a re-fuel we headed off in the direction Barrydale for a supposed 95km dirt road experience. At this point Graham and a friend on a KTM forgot that some of his entourage were novices and set off leaving us to our own fate. The dirt was quite good for the first 70kms, and the scenery amazing, when I could see through the dust and manage to take my eyes off the road. At speeds of 60 to 80kph I can?t say it was the most fun I?d had on a bike and we had to stop repeatedly for the slower riders to catch up. At the fork for Barrydale the road was closed due to recent flood damage and we had to head towards Ladismith. Not a problem, Peter the KTM rider had GPS.
Now the fun begins. The dirt became loose and soft but that didn?t slow down our leader! At this point the group split up into factions depending on the speed you wished to travel. Another of the group, a mad cap young Belgium on a BMW 1150 RT, in order not to be left behind the leaders went tearing past us at breakneck speed. Peter muttered something about ?look at that mad b*****d he just missed us, he?s gonna fall off? and on the next right-hander in front of us he went straight through the corner into the rocks and off his bike. (Third-upside-downer) Bruised ribs and ego but no other damage, and then he was gone in a cloud of dust.
So a party of 7 bikes had now become a sandwich, Speedy (Sidestand) Gonzales plus two in front, two slowcoaches and a helper behind, and us as the filling in the middle doing a solo ride. We went on for mile after mile in ever degenerating road conditions and it was here that things started to get ugly, Tackling lots of patches of recently graded soft sand it was at this point we had our spill ? the theory of powering through the soft sand didn?t work on one particular patch. We just ploughed in deeper, eventually doing a spectacular 180-degree turn over the side bank and landed in the bush. (The fourth upside-downer) Apart from a few scratches to bike and us no real damage was done. It did however break my confidence and I made Peter stop so that I could walk through every dodgy looking bit of road, slowing us down considerably. To cut a long story short, novice Geoff on his nice new BMW went down twice on this stretch, breaking the other wing mirror.
Now we were five tail-enders, leaderless in the middle of nowhere, without cell phone reception and wondering if we were on the right track. Ever wonder what it?s like to die of thirst, the thought crossed our minds. Having gone through a gated section where Graham?s business card was attached, confidence was restored and we pressed on. We eventually passed Warmwaterberg Spa resort and soon after arrived at Ron?s Sex Shop for a very welcome cold beer, after 167kms and 4 1/2 hours on dirt. Seems we were only 7 minutes behind the front-runners ? remember the story of the tortoise and the hare?
We all checked in to the accommodation that Graham had arranged, a biker friendly cottage behind the County Pumpkin in Barrydale. Very nice too. The final upside-downer occurred when the KTM rider tried to park up on the stoep, underestimating the height of the step. So, 7 bikes, with 5 riders and 1 pillion making a total of 7 falls. Nice one Graham. A few beers and some chill out time, a good meal at a local restaurant and then an early night for most people left only Peter & I and Geoff to party on down till the small hours.
Next morning was an early start with a good cooked breakfast to fuel our return. We all set off together down the Tradouw Pass to the N2 and a refuel stop. From there Graham had planned an off-road route to Malgas and on to Stanford and the Highlands road to the N2. Peter & I & Geoff declined Graham?s offer and took the tar, meeting up at Bredasdorp. Finally we all met up Gordons? Bay Yacht club for a last cold one before heading our separate ways home.
So Graham, as our bruises are healing nicely, when are we doing it again???
